|Posted on June 27, 2019 at 2:10 PM|
The other day I was reminded of the prophet Elijah and the many miracles he witnessed performed how in in 1 Kings 17 he told King Ahab that “As surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives- the God I serve- there will be no dew or rain during the next few years until I give word!” and sure enough he stayed true to His Word because it didn’t rain till verse 18:45. How God sent the ravens to feed him in 17:4 and he drank water from the nearby brook for strength. When God sent him to the widow at Zarephath during a time of famine to ensure she had enough for her and her son in 1 Kings 17:8-16 and how when the child died by the power of God, Elijah raised him from the dead in 1 Kings 17:17-24. When he confronted the prophets of Baal to a my God is greater than your god contest by burning up an altar that had been drenched in water in 1 Kings 18:22-39. And how he had the prophets who worshipped Baal all killed.
When all was said and done, with all he saw and by the grace of God did we find him in 1 Kings 19 when Jezebel threatens to kill him. With the courage of a lion Elijah…not so much 19:3 “Elijah was afraid and fled for his life.” This is where my thoughts find me. I may not have killed prophets who worshipped idols, held the rain, fed a widow in famine or brought a dead person to life but there have been many miracles of my own that I have seen God perform. God has freed me from my lifetime struggle with addiction. Healed H from a near death fall. Freed us from medical debt and personal debt. God is healing H from his own battle with addiction. Rebuilding our relationship based on the foundation of God’s Word one day at a time. Most recently restored my estranged relationship with my sister to replace the years the enemy had stolen. And just when I thought I had seen it all freaking Jezebel appears in my life in the form of drugs.
The same night I came home from celebrating my sister's return and success...I caught my son with drugs. The low I experienced in that moment was like falling from a skyscraper without a parachute so I get that at this moment in Elijah’s life he might think as I thought for a split moment “Good God, are you kidding me? I have had enough” But the Spirit inside me is a fighter. I saw a shirt the other day that read “Satan thought he had me when my head was bowed and eyes were closed but then I lifted my head up and said ‘Amen’” see unlike my ancestor Elijah I have seen much to know that God is able even when the enemy threatens to take my son by something as wicked and manipulative as drugs.
I understand by Isaiah 53:6 “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have all left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all.” All of us meaning not even my own son is immune from this rite of passage. Try as I might he can’t avoid this obstacle. I strayed, he too will stray. Only one man was ever perfect, he was perfect for all of us. The path I have for my son is the hopes and dreams of a family legacy I hope to leave with him. But first he must go through the wilderness, we all must.
I don’t know what the future holds I am only in day two of this valley. I only know that God has him as he had me. As much as I love him, God loves him even more. I wasn’t raised with parents from the time I was 13 but God decided that he should have both of us in his life. I give him grace because I know I wasn’t saved since birth either, I was the complete opposite of my brother- Jesus. Drugs wasn’t part of my battle but any addiction that feeds the flesh satisfies a need in many forms. There are parts of my story I look back on with disgust and utter shame had it not been for the cross. God saved me from even worse happening but I also have been a witness to the life of a sibling whose life was an example of how bad things could be. I don’t want that life for my son so I pray and I hope and I love and forgive and move forward and hang on to the God I know to do what I can’t do. To change the heart and mind of my son and bring healing and wholeness to the reasons he would turn to drugs.
He says it helps him sleep. In this digital age when his mind is going as fast as the processor on his computer from head up to head down that he can’t seem to slow it down by his own strength. He also said it helps him to deal with anxiety…the anxiety of being an awkward teenager growing up. Unfortunately stress in every form is one thing that will never stop but thank God neither will He. Never stop doing good. Never stop being who He is and pursuing my son passionately. Never back down when the enemy tries to take him from me. Never give up when he is at risk. See I believe in a God that allowed me to see this when I did before it took a foothold on his life. Unlike Elijah who had seen enough, had enough, I have more than enough fight for the both of us. I refuse to let the enemy sink his claws into the flesh of my flesh. The enemies first mistake is thinking he was unprotected. I lift my head up and say Amen, game on.