|Posted on July 21, 2019 at 12:45 AM|
He piled up huge amounts of grain like sand on the seashore. Finally, he stopped keeping records because there was too much to measure. Genesis 41:49
I read this verse today and for the first time I saw the grain as my sins. I imagined this verse was about God how He was the one who piled up the huge amounts of my sins like sand on the seashore. My sins were all the lies I told. All the things I stole. All the times I was disobedient and devious and conniving not just to parents when they were around or family members but to friends, coworkers, acquaintances, people I just met or hadn’t known for very long. Yes my sins were many. I am no saint nor have I ever claimed to be I am quite the opposite being from my brother just like many who came after him it’s what we all have in common. You would think after all this time I would have figured out how to sin no more, but still I am here, not perfect, being perfected by the things that trip me up.
I tell you her sins- and they are many- have been forgiven, so she has shown much love… Luke 7:47
Finally, He stopped keeping records. God stopped keeping count. Keeping track of it all. That was just me and my sins now imagine God keeping count of the whole worlds’ sins, every human being that ever lived since the existence of time. It was too much to measure. I would become too weary to count. Who could keep track even if I tried with my own it would be too much and I know my memory would leave some out.
I prayed, “O my God, I am utterly ashamed; I blush to lift up my face to you. For our sins are piled higher than our heads, and our guilt has reached to the heavens. Ezra 9:6
For our sins are piled up before God and testify against us. Yes we know what sinners we are. We know we have rebelled and have denied the LORD. We have turned our backs on our God. We know how unfair and oppressive we have been, carefully planning our deceitful lies. Isaiah 59:12-13
I wonder if that is how I finally reached God, my sins got so high one atop the other like the tower of Babel in Genesis 11:4-5 that when they finally reached the gates of heaven God said “Enough! Stop! This far and no farther will you come!” Job 38:11 and just like that they obeyed Luke 8:25 one by one they all dropped off. Only humans measure. Only humans keep track. Only humans count. To movie quote “Lucy”- “Humans created a scale to forget its’ unfathomable scale”. It is impossible to keep track of it all, yet it is human to try.
…And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins. Jeremiah 31:34
To God, for me to sin even just one sin one time as my ancestors Adam and Eve did is as bad as if I had broken all the sins James 2:11 and 1 John 3:4. A sin is a sin, no matter how small or how great we measure it or even how many times we count it is committed. It is all the same to God. The ground is leveled at the cross. The blood is red no matter how you take it or steal it or give it.
Jesus once said in Matthew 12:12, Mark 3:4 and Luke 6:9 not verbatim but condensed “Does the law permit good deeds… or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or destroy it?” Sabbath is every day to me. Every day should be a day I want to do what is good whether I have permission or not to save life or to give life does not require a certain day of the week. But it seems I lived my life for what was evil. So every day my life was filled with evil and resulted in a wicked life.
If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 1 John 1:8
The truth is I am a sinner and I need a Savior and I thank God He saved me by providing the Savior I needed through His Son. 1 John 3:5 The only reason I know that things I do are sinful is because there was a son who walked the earth who lived without sin. Who showed me what life could be like, could look like if I wasn’t so focused on what not do and fixed my thoughts not on what was wrong with me but what I was able to do.
“What sorrow awaits you experts in religious law! For you remove the key to knowledge from the people. You don'’ enter the Kingdom yourselves, and you prevent others from entering.” Luke 11:52
It’s like the enemy performed the greatest magic trick of all time when God sent His forces, Heavens Armies of His people 1 Samuel 17:26 to inhabit the earth. They all had the same ability His Son had to heal, to give life, to speak wise counsel, they had immeasurable strength- able to lift the fallen, free the captives not with might but with their words.
And the enemy said to them upon their arrival he repeated it over the air waves, over and over again till they were conditioned to believe that there is a list of rules and laws and regulations that we cannot do or God will not love us anymore. Fix our eyes on this. Forget what He sent us for. Forget about the courage, the wisdom, the honor, the glory God gave you and think about this instead. So that is what I did I spent my entire time on earth thinking about what I couldn’t do instead of what I could do. I can’t do this, I can’t do that and I became everything I thought couldn’t do till I believed I was unworthy of love, unworthy of the love of my one and only Father who sent me, who created me. I had forgotten about what I could do, who I really was, what I was sent for- capable of just like His Son Romans 8:29.
For the law always brings punishment on those who try to obey it. (The only way to avoid breaking the law is to have no law to break!) Romans 4:15
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. There is no law against these things! Galatians 5:22-23
When I fixed my thoughts and mind on these things that were true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable Philippians 4:8 I wasn’t thinking about what I couldn’t, shouldn’t be doing. I stopped thinking of what was best and good for me and started thinking how I could serve others. How I should serve others Hebrews 10:24 and as a result stopped living by the law and for God instead.
For when I tried to keep the law, it condemned me. So I died to the law- I stopped trying to meet all its requirements- so that I might live for God. Galatians 2:19
I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die. Galatians 2:21
For the law never made anything perfect. But now we have confidence in a better hope, through which we draw near to God. Hebrews 7:19
As a man thinks in his heart so he is…Proverbs 23:7