|Posted on July 27, 2019 at 11:40 AM|
Many will be purified, cleansed and refined by these trials…Daniel 12:10
I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather I have refined you in the furnace of suffering. Isaiah 48:10
This has been a week of trials for me. I actually wrote several times this week as I walked through the trials I was facing but each seemed like they were messages for me. For what I was dealing with the revelations I was finding the personal insight I was going through.
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. John 16:33
I found myself clinging to God, to His Word, to teachings, to praise music, to bible study even more so in these last days that I had time for in weeks before. I can see in hindsight how the enemy used what was supposed to be a good thing to distract me, to keep me from His greater power which is the peace I have when I am in Him.
The LORD Himself will send on you curses, confusion and frustration in everything you do, until at last you are completely destroyed for doing evil and abandoning Me. Deuteronomy 28:20
This last week I admit in frustration and confusion I cursed at what I was a having to deal with. God was far from my thoughts. I thought I could handle it alone that I could do what only God could do which is to change a human heart. But I changed nothing. The only thing I allowed to happen was for the enemy to steal my peace. A game he has played since the beginning.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our heart with His love. Romans 5:3-5
That’s what my trials came down to love. Instead of being kind, able to teach and be patient with difficult people 2 Timothy 2:24 I got involved in a foolish ignorant argument. I did not gently instruct instead I shook my head in disapproval. But my words fell on deaf ears and blind eyes. I want a better life for them by living in His Word than in the ways of this world but they don’t want that life for themselves. I have a passion in me that I want them to have. To seek God above all else but I have fought this battle before with others who chose the ways of this world to satisfy the emptiness, the loneliness, the longing, the need for something more and not turning to God to fill it.
I remember it like de ja vu “What is it going to take for you to be satisfied, to be content, to realize that you have enough, you have everything you need? Because whatever you think it is, it will never be, you will always need more because the only thing that can satisfy is God.” A conversation I have had with so many people I have loved.
Then I was asked “What are you afraid of?” I said “I am afraid they will fall that just because things don’t work out as a result of the foolish choices they are making that somehow they will blame God. Because they have been living this self-destructive way their whole lives and they don’t see the wrong in it.” I wanted them to say that won’t happen but instead they said “They need to fall and if you keep rescuing them they can’t fall. They can’t feel the consequences, the weight of their decisions.” I was reminded that it is about surrender. That when we ourselves surrendered our lives to God we also had to fall, to cry out for Him every hour, every minute of every day from day break just to get through this day that is when we wanted God. We sought Him. We put Him first. We pursued a relationship with Him. But if they aren’t there yet, it’s not for us to bring them there. If they want to fill the time they have left on earth pursuing the world there is nothing we can say or do.
If they want to fill their minds with mindless things so be it. If they want to spend money they don’t have buying things they don’t need so be it. If they want to eat sugary foods to fill a craving so be it. If they want to eat unhealthy and do more harm to the Temple that God gave to them that houses His Holy Spirit then so be it. I watch and see the same things I did when I was in search of filling the emptiness, the insatiable void in me only God could fill and I weep for them knowing the result of a life lived this way can lead to nothing good.
I have to let them fall even it means I lose them. I have to let them fall even it means harm will come to them. I have to let them fall even if it means our relationship is severed. Because the truth is God loves them more than I do. I have to let them fall so God can show them He is with them. So I let go. I turned my face to God. My time to God. My words to God. As much as I love God I can’t make others love Him too only He can do that. So I wait on Him.
…Perhaps God will change their hearts, and they will learn the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants. 2 Timothy 2:25