|Posted on August 10, 2019 at 12:00 AM|
Has any other god dared to take a people for Himself out of another nation by means of trials, miraculous signs, wonders, war, a strong hand, a powerful arm, and terrifying acts? Yet that is what the LORD your God did for you in Egypt, right before your eyes. Deuteronomy 4:34
Yup that sounds about right, I came to know God by more trials than I care to count. More miraculous signs that had no explanation but God for. Wonders that overwhelmed me to tears. War so torn in my own little world that it spread across generations of my family. A strong hand and a mighty arm that I knew it wasn’t by my own strength that held me together. And just when I thought life couldn’t get scarier those terrifying acts that made me clench my eyes, hold my breath and tremble with fear.
Yes this is how the LORD my God revealed Himself to me. This is what He did to bring me out of Egypt right before my very eyes. I can’t un-see the things I have seen Him do for me, I can’t un-know or deny there is a greater power at work in my life. Yet I look around at those around me who are still blind, still deaf to His voice and all I can feel is gratitude that He chose to reveal Himself to me. That nothing and no one in my life stopped that, hindered that from happening. I didn’t have a mother watching over me or an earthly father guiding me. Thrown into this world at the age of 13 so many “could haves” could have overtaken me had it not been for God with me.
What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go… Genesis 28:15
He was with me when I went to places I had no business being in. When I stayed out way past a curfew that was never set for me. Staying up so late that I saw the moon set when I should have been sleeping. Walking the streets with friends, listening to music, time was irrelevant. When I hid the deeds I did in the dark He was with me, He witnessed every single sin. Nothing was hidden from Him.
You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. Psalm 139:3
This past week as we prepare for another school year I am struggling with my sons need for independence, rebellion, and style. I was reminded of John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” I know that not even Jesus was exempt from the trials and sorrows in life yet when I stake claim to the same blood line I feel like I am entitled from being exempt from such things. Like I can order my life at the drive through, I will have a sorrow and trial free life please, biggie size.
When things happen that make me struggle, weep, try harder to reach for the prize that was won for me that I somehow get it in my head that in this part of my life, God is not with me otherwise I wouldn’t be struggling. But it is in those very trials He has revealed Himself stronger in me. Perhaps it was those trials and sorrows I faced that brought me nearer to God. I would not have a need to see a miraculous act if I could do things and make them happen on my own. I would not have a need to see wonders I couldn’t explain if nothing was a wonder to me. I wouldn’t need his strong hand or mighty arm to save me if I had the strength to save myself.
Don’t misunderstand if given the choice I could do without the terrifying acts but isn’t that what life is just one terrifying walk through this haunted day where every hour is of the unknown. If I knew what the future held for me I would have nothing to hope it could be. I wouldn’t wake hoping for a struggle free trial free sorrow free day. It would have already been decided that nothing is going to happen today and I would already know. But life is not like that. It changes in an instant…message, in an announcement before my morning devotionals, it changes in a phone call, in the sound of a siren, in a blink. Moments that bring me to my knees and make me cry out to a God I can’t see but pray to God He is with me.
Who am I to prevent my son from knowing God just so that I can save him from a trial free life? It is through the trials, the sorrows, the struggles, the unknowing, the miraculous, the terrifying, the untapped strength he never knew was available to him that is the invitation to come to know someone greater than him. I guess I wouldn’t have it any other way. What I know is that I am not god. Neither can I ever be. When I am always there to save, there to provide, always there to protect lest my son falls from this nest than I become his god. The person he looks to, to be his saving grace, his savior. Not anyone or anything outside or apart from me. Someone he can see touch and feel and explain why and how things happen. No wonder, no miraculous signs. No experiences in his life that he knows that something greater is happening because there was no way he could have survived otherwise because the truth is he never had to.
The truth is life is going to hurt. There are going to be times that I can neither stop, take away or even explain the pain. I can only feel it with him, nod my head and say I know exactly how you feel but it’s going to be okay. You will get through this because my life is proof I got through it too. Nothing will come against you that you can’t overcome John 16:33. Nothing will happen for you that you can’t get back up from Psalm 20:8. No misfortune is in God’s plan for you Numbers 23:21 even what seems unfortunate is God’s way of coming to you. He is shrouded in light covered in dark clouds, fire goes before Him, things you think you can’t withstand know He is standing up against them with you, His presence happens in a blink and then it’s gone. Psalm 97:2-4 Just long enough to make you think what was that? And have no explanation for why things happened or worked out in your favor all you know is there was something greater. I don’t want to deny my son that kind of life even if it hurts for just a moment.
Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later. Romans 8:18