|Posted on August 13, 2019 at 2:55 PM|
Rejoice, you people of Jerusalem! Rejoice in the LORD your God! For the rain He sends demonstrates His faithfulness. Once more the autumn rains will come, as well as the rains of spring. The threshing floors will again be piled high with grain, and the presses will overflow with new wine and olive oil. Joel 2:23-24
Though fall is still officially over a month away, fall has begun in my home. I have survived the summer, my son has returned to school. So the time I know as “summer vacation” is over for me. I can actually hear my house breathing again. No drowning sounds of the TV or music or my son yelling on his headset while playing some video game. Ah how I missed this stillness when I can sit and be grateful having survived through one of the roughest adolescent years of his life. The things he did I didn’t think he would ever do. Things I didn’t even think I would need to be concerned about were hard truths to swallow this summer but we made it through.
…We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely on God, who raises the dead. And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us. 2 Corinthians 1:8-10
We weren’t ship wrecked or beaten like Paul but every day was a constant battle for control and independence. The testing of boundaries and freedom. Taking personal responsibilities and suffering the consequence of irresponsible choices. It felt like a twelve week war. A different battle every week till finally summer was over and for a moment there is peace. I read earlier in the summer that peace is not the absence of battle it is the ability to maintain calmness even in the middle of battle.
God said in Isaiah 30:15 that in quietness and confidence is my strength. So in frustration I found myself just being silent. If I said nothing than I wasn’t arguing and my voice wasn’t raised to control the situation but usually by then I had lost all control even of myself. There was no discussion. Nothing left to say. No matter how many times we repeated ourselves he relentlessly did the complete opposite even to the very last day. So we stopped saying anything and instead he merely suffered the consequences of his poor choices weekly at times daily. It didn’t matter to him what we said he would still live his own way on his own terms unfortunately just like me when I was his age and my ancestors before him.
My saving grace was re-reading the story of David found in 1 Samuel 17:12-51 and seeing my son through a different lens. I’m not sure how old David was but in verse 33 Saul refers to him as a boy and in verse 42 even Goliath thought of him as a boy so a good guess would be a teenager. I know how different times have changed. I can only hope that in the same boldness and courageous defiant ways of David’s heart I can see his spirit in my son today.
May he go on to slay many obstacles that appear to be giants. God knows how hard we tried to tame his rebel “lion” heart but perhaps we didn't give him enough credit. At such a time as this it is the only way to survive, to be both fearless and relentless in spite of how big the giants are. I will be bold enough to say that we have more authority over our son than anyone else on this earth, there aren't many in this world that can tell him what to do. So when he began to defy us as most teenagers these days do all I could think was for every battle he fought with us this summer may it give him the practice he will need to take down anyone who would dare come against this child of the King.