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August 22 2019

Posted on August 22, 2019 at 1:45 PM

At this juncture in my life I am thinking about the hope of restoration found in Jeremiah chapter 31 because to be honest the stresses I face are no different than most. Right now we are struggling in our finances, we overextended ourselves over the summer and are paying for it in the fall. We spent what we didn’t have to spend and now we find ourselves in debt yet again. Disappointed that we didn’t save more for the unexpected things like tires, AC repair, additional purchases for guest we hadn’t planned on hosting. Life adds up and it added up fast. We kept thinking we will worry about it tomorrow and now that is today.


Along with financial struggles our once obedient son has decided that this is the year he would break every rule. It’s a fight every day to stick to the punishment we established for the boundaries broken. If it was just something as small as breaking curfew it would be dealt with and done but it was things I didn’t think I would have to deal with like drinking, vaping and drug use that crossed the boundaries. Yes the big ones.


The new addition to our home is proving to have its’ own stresses. Testing my peace, trying my patience. Constantly reminding myself this is a grown adult not another child I am needing to raise up. I asked once “Do you have everything you need? If you couldn’t buy a single thing from this day forward would what you have be enough?” With downcast eyes they replied “Yes” yet every day their actions speak louder and their truth is revealed that the world has them convinced that more is the way and less is not. Making me cast my own eyes to see yet another bag, another package, another thing to fill the emptiness of a broken heart. Discourage and disappointment don’t even begin to give justice to how this makes me feel but again it isn’t my life who am I to be the judge, so I take a deep breath and put my gavel down and watch and wait for the inevitable fall that nothing can fill what God can only fill.


As for my relationship with H well yesterday marked the one year anniversary that I asked him to leave our home. After 9 months he was still unable to manage his stress in a healthy manner. And now that these new stresses have arose he seems to be handling them better but we are still not completely made whole.


So with the finances, family and relationship putting a strain on this once whole heart I find comfort in being reminded of the hope of restoration. God said in verse 1 “In that day I will be the God of all the people and they will be my people.” In agreement my heart speaks “Father you are my God and I am your people.” He goes onto say in verse 2 “Those who survive the coming destruction will find blessings even in the barren land, for I will give rest to my people.” Though at times it feels like the people I love are living destructive lives all around me, I am finding blessings in this barren land. The surpassing peace of heart and mind that come when I am in His Word.


This summer I found comfort just sitting in my backyard in a beach chair in a kid pool, a shade to protect me from the constant rays of the sun and some tunes to take my mind off the storms inside my home. Staring off into the blue sky, watching the birds fly by, the green grass flourishing, taking me out of the worries of this life. Rest He did give to me each day at my disposal.


In verse 3 He reminds me of His love. “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.” I am loved. With a word no man can ever boast an everlasting kind of love that spans across space and time. That love is what draws me near to Him. To sit in the shade He provides. A line from Zephaniah 3:13 comes to mind “With His love, He will calm all your fears.” My worries cannot add a single moment to my life so I surrender them one by one.


Verse 4 He says “I will rebuild you.” Father you know this heart needs rebuilding the kind of restoring only you can do. You said I would be happy again and I am instantly reminded my happiness is not dependent on people or circumstance. My joy comes from knowing you are with me. “And I will dance merrily” like my ancestor David did in 2 Samuel 6:14 I will dance for you.


The next verses remind me to praise God. Praise Him for what He has done and the things to come. When I look back on this year and all the progress made though I am not where I want to be I am not where I was a year ago today there is praise to be made in that.


Verse 9 I say as a personal prayer “Tears of joy stream down my face when I think of all you have done for me. You lead me each day to my heavenly home with great care. I walk beside the quiet streams of the living water of Your Word. I walk beside You on smooth paths where I do not stumble for you hold me by my right hand because You are my Father and I am Your child.”


I keep on praying all the way through all 40 verses reflecting on my own walk with the LORD and as I go through each one comparing it with my own the stresses that surround me about finances, family, relationships fade into the background and God is on the throne of my mind again and somehow I feel restored even if the things and people in my life are not.


I am assured they will be because God is in the rebuilding business and when my life is rebuilt on His Word, His promises, His ways I can be assured that everything and everyone in my life will be holy to the LORD as He said in verse 40 after all of these wonderful promises that I will never be captured by in other words my mind would no longer be taken captive by these concerns and my heart will not be destroyed by them either I believe it is because I will have learned to put my trust in the LORD. My faith is not in people or circumstance my faith remains in God who is faithful.


…the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God. Habakkuk 2:4

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