|Posted on January 9, 2020 at 6:05 PM|
Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” Isaiah 6:8
I have this vision of being beside my Father looking down upon the earth. From a distance it appears to be a beautiful white, blue, green beating orb but the closer we got the sounds of chaos rose. It was the crying, screaming, hurting people of this world. Lifting hands up in prayer, shielding their eyes from the horrors that people no different from themselves cause each other. In my arrogance I pleaded with my Father “Send me”. Being no greater than He, who was I to believe that I could make a difference? In a world filled with hatred, bitterness, envy, jealousy, hatred, insolence, pride, ignorance, heartlessness, sexually immorality, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, selfish ambition, division, drunkenness, rage, vengeful plots, slander, wicked behavior, abusive language, deceit, hypocrisy all wrapped up in blood, flesh and bone. Ignorant to all these things I said to my Father “Send me”.
Sometime later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called. “Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.”
He held me in His arms with a grip so tight, shaking his head at how naïve His child was, precious one He thought to Himself you know not what you ask for. Many have asked before you. The courage inside you is not unlike the Spirit of those I placed inside you. The bitter cup of life you want to swallow is not unlike the one they gave to my son. You think you will go and put an end to the evil inside but change happens not at large but one at a time. It will start with you.
Upon arrival you will know nothing of the time you spent with Me. You will experience all these things. You will have to learn on your own as though learning anew but it will be something familiar to you. Be comforted knowing what you ask for is but a little while, as temporary as the seasons I have placed upon the earth that serve to remind you. The sooner you figure out you are mine the sooner you will figure out why you have been sent and the sooner you will be called home. History repeats itself. “Send me” I said.
During the night God spoke to him in a vision. “Jacob! Jacob!” he called. “Here I am,” Jacob replied. Genesis 46:2
I wept in my office after watching all the turmoil that played out in a single day on the evening news. A veil had been lifted and for the first time I saw people of brokenness that had forgotten who their Father was. Father, why have you sent me!? I cried a still small voice replied, because you asked me to. I thought it’s too much. How can anyone survive life? The truth was my Father looks not for those that think they are wise, strong, wealthy or tall my Fathers seeks the world searching for a willing heart. Someone who sees past what is seen to the unseen of what could be. “Send me” was once my plea by my Fathers’ side.
When the LORD saw Moses coming to take a closer look, God called to him from the middle of the bush, “Moses! Moses!” “Here I am!” Moses replied. Exodus 3:4
My Father was right I had no idea why the call in my heart was so willing, so wanting to help my human family out. All I knew is that from afar I could not stand by and watch and do nothing. Moved with the same compassion my brother felt in his heart. A burning desire as though my own flesh was being harmed. I don’t know what I have to offer. I don’t know how to heal the wound. I don’t know how to make the hurting stop. All I know is “Send me” with the wisdom of God surely I can figure something out. I came empty handed, with my life poured out, with nothing to offer my Father when I heard Him call out. My response was not unlike my ancestors. “Here I am.” And there it was…a willing heart.
And the LORD came and called as before, “Samuel! Samuel!” And Samuel replied, “Speak, your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:10
My prayer was humble, my words were few. I lay down my wants. I lay down my needs. I give my life over to You. You saw how I screwed that up on my own. Father I need You. Everything I have is Yours, do with it what you will. It took me some time to figure out that life doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to the One who created me. Of all the things I have been given there is nothing I have that You want. I finally understand it is “Not my will, but Yours be done.” My complete trust in the One that answered my prayer of two words “Send me”.
“I’ll go” my Uncle David said in 1 Samuel 17:32 “Send me” my Uncle Nehemiah said in 2:5. The first actual wedding vow ever spoke was when Abraham’s servant was seeking his wife he asked Rebekah in Genesis 24:58 “Are you willing” to which she said “I will go”. My Aunt Ruth replied to my Aunt Naomi in Ruth 1:6 “I will go”. In 1 Kings 19:20 my cousin Elisha replied to Uncle Elijah “I will go”. My Aunt Esther said in 4:16 “I will go”. Every single one of my family members born of courage was not unlike anyone else. The only difference is they rose up at their appointed time and said two words “I will”. So when God asked “Whom shall I send?” it didn’t take a second thought for me to decide “Send me I will go” I was only saying what my family said before me, they had taught me well.
Make them holy by Your truth; teach them Your Word, which is truth. Just as You sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. John 17:17-18
I got so focused on “the one and only” that I failed to see “the first of many”. There came a time after reading His Word that I had to be honest, truthful with myself and like my ancestors before me ask if I was willing? To which my heart replied “Send me”.
For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Romans 8:29